HR had to write a new policy. Section 4, Subsection B: “Employees are forbidden from presenting their posterior to another employee’s primary sightline for more than four consecutive seconds, unless engaged in a fire drill or a trust fall exercise.”
It started innocently enough. Janet would stand at the Xerox WorkCentre 7830, waiting for her 47-page report to print. Instead of standing facing the machine like a normal human, Janet would slowly rotate 180 degrees. Her back—specifically, the lower lumbar region of her polyester-blend slacks—would point directly at the ergonomic mesh chair of Kyle, the junior analyst. This Office Worker Keeps Turning Her Ass Toward...
Her logic, presented to a stunned HR panel: “I cannot see my own behind. If a toner explosion happens, I would rather it look like I sat in a puddle of conspiracy theories than have a clean front and a polluted rear. Out of sight, out of mind.” HR had to write a new policy