What do you do?
“Good morning, beautiful. Can you pick up milk on the way home? Love, Dad.” molly jane dad thinks i am mom
Let the name slide. Let the mistaken identity be a tribute to your mother—a sign that your father’s greatest love is still alive in his broken mind. But hold onto your own name in your heart. Write it on your bathroom mirror if you have to. What do you do
“I used to say, ‘Dad, it’s me, Molly,’” she recalls. “He would get agitated. Angry, even. He’d accuse me of lying, of being an imposter. Then one night, he was shivering, and he said, ‘Come hold me, Margaret.’ Margaret is my mom. I just… got into bed and held him. He fell asleep smiling. I cried for an hour afterward.” Let’s name the elephant in the room: it is deeply, viscerally uncomfortable when your dad thinks you are your mom. Love, Dad
Even if your mother is no longer alive (or is also suffering from cognitive decline), the intimacy of being treated like a wife is jarring. A father might try to kiss your neck. He might pat your backside. He might ask you to sleep in “our” bed. These moments are not romantic; they are neurological misfires, but they land like a punch to the gut.
By: Family Dynamics Desk
Imagine this: You walk into the living room. Your father says, “There’s my beautiful wife.” Your actual mother is sitting three feet away, holding his medication. She looks at you. You look at her. He does not see her at all.